If you are determined to move forward into a greater life for yourself, but you are harboring grudges or resentments towards another, forgiving is essential. I know it’s not easy. I know you may not want to do it; I didn’t. I had heard people promoting the value of forgiveness for many years before I decided to take a serious stab at it.

After all, “He did it to me; why should I forgive him?” He needed to suffer, and I wasn’t going to let him off the hook, no way; he needed to pay! The problem is, he wasn’t paying for it. I was. In reality, he probably had no idea the series of events still played over and over in my head and he’d long forgotten them, so it certainly didn’t torture him at all.

I was the one paying for it, wrapping up good energy on past events that truly had no significance in my current or future life. And that’s why we need to forgive; we need that valuable, awesome energy to help us move forward, not hold us back. It doesn’t make the person’s actions okay or acceptable; it’s a matter of taking back our energy and our Power. Take your Power back and get rid of that icky energy.

There are many ways to start a forgiveness practice. What I’ll share here are three possibilities using prayer beads or malas. There is no magic number of times you need to do it; you just do it until you feel you’re done. It might take one day, two weeks or two months, but eventually the charged energy goes away when you recall the person. None of these three practices is any better than the other. Do the one that feels best for the situation.

First Option: This is particularly useful when you really wanted someone to change. Imagine the person in front of you, as if you are speaking directly to them. Speak sincerely. “Joe, I forgive you for not being the person I wanted you to be.” It allows for a space of letting them be them, and not someone they’re not. Repeat it over and over until you feel a shift.

It is also sometimes useful to combine it with the second option.

Second option: Again, imagine the person in front of you, as if you are speaking to them. Speak sincerely. “Joe. I love you, I bless you, I forgive you, I release you.” That’s it, over and over.

Combined it is even more powerful: “Joe, I forgive you for not being the person I wanted you to be. I love you, I bless you, I release you.”

The third option is my personal favorite as it helps me recognize that the faults I see in others are also my own, which helps me come around quickly to compassion or understanding for that person. Again, imagine talking directly to them. “Joe, I forgive you and myself for being ignorant (Choose appropriate quality). I love you as I love myself, for God is the love I am.” This also turns the situation over to the Divine Source that allows love to flow to and from all without judgement.

I’d challenge you to just try one for a week if there is someone that really triggers you. You don’t have to fully forgive them, but just see if it frees anything up in you to be open to starting the process.

Are you willing to be open to moving toward your greater life?