Tag Archives: forgiveness

The Practice of Forgiveness

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If you are determined to move forward into a greater life for yourself, but you are harboring grudges or resentments towards another, forgiving is essential. I know it’s not easy. I know you may not want to do it; I didn’t. I had heard people promoting the value of forgiveness for many years before I decided to take a serious stab at it.

After all, “He did it to me; why should I forgive him?” He needed to suffer, and I wasn’t going to let him off the hook, no way; he needed to pay! The problem is, he wasn’t paying for it. I was. In reality, he probably had no idea the series of events still played over and over in my head and he’d long forgotten them, so it certainly didn’t torture him at all.

I was the one paying for it, wrapping up good energy on past events that truly had no significance in my current or future life. And that’s why we need to forgive; we need that valuable, awesome energy to help us move forward, not hold us back. It doesn’t make the person’s actions okay or acceptable; it’s a matter of taking back our energy and our Power. Take your Power back and get rid of that icky energy.

There are many ways to start a forgiveness practice. What I’ll share here are three possibilities using prayer beads or malas. There is no magic number of times you need to do it; you just do it until you feel you’re done. It might take one day, two weeks or two months, but eventually the charged energy goes away when you recall the person. None of these three practices is any better than the other. Do the one that feels best for the situation.

First Option: This is particularly useful when you really wanted someone to change. Imagine the person in front of you, as if you are speaking directly to them. Speak sincerely. “Joe, I forgive you for not being the person I wanted you to be.” It allows for a space of letting them be them, and not someone they’re not. Repeat it over and over until you feel a shift.

It is also sometimes useful to combine it with the second option.

Second option: Again, imagine the person in front of you, as if you are speaking to them. Speak sincerely. “Joe. I love you, I bless you, I forgive you, I release you.” That’s it, over and over.

Combined it is even more powerful: “Joe, I forgive you for not being the person I wanted you to be. I love you, I bless you, I release you.”

The third option is my personal favorite as it helps me recognize that the faults I see in others are also my own, which helps me come around quickly to compassion or understanding for that person. Again, imagine talking directly to them. “Joe, I forgive you and myself for being ignorant (Choose appropriate quality). I love you as I love myself, for God is the love I am.” This also turns the situation over to the Divine Source that allows love to flow to and from all without judgement.

I’d challenge you to just try one for a week if there is someone that really triggers you. You don’t have to fully forgive them, but just see if it frees anything up in you to be open to starting the process.

Are you willing to be open to moving toward your greater life?

 

Closing Your Day Well – How I Close My Day

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My Bedtime Spiritual Practice

Is it important to have a spiritual practice at bedtime? I think so. I think it’s a good idea to close out the day with a clear mind and heart, so your sleep is more restful, which then makes for a better tomorrow!

So, I’m going to share what I do every night before bed. It doesn’t mean this is exactly what you should do; it’s just a way I feel good about ending my day.

These are not bedtime specific practices either; they are practices that I talk about in other blogs that have several types of practice associated with them and can be done anytime during the day.

My bedtime practice first involves recycling or reusing old pieces of paper or paper that otherwise might get tossed. It might be a used notebook with just a page or two left, an unused pad of paper or decent sized scraps of paper that are still blank. I keep these in a pile by my bedside along with pen and bins or bags.

The first thing I do is to clear out any icky stuff from the day, so my first practice is forgiveness. Who or what do I need to forgive? At this particular time, it’s not a deep practice, just an acknowledgement of ill feelings towards someone or something to allow the healing practice to start. It might be a person or group or animal or myself, and I simply write, “I forgive Mr. X for doing that thing he did that made me feel so disrespected.” I might even add an excuse for them, such as, “I know he was only trying to protect his ego.” And that’s it; I toss it in my forgiveness bag.

Once I clear those feelings out, I open to gratitude and appreciation. I write down everything I’m grateful for that day, especially the unexpected miracles of the day. I write down everything that comes to me, big or small, and then throw it into the gratitude bag.  I actually have a gift bag I use with the words “Thank you” on it that they go in!

Next are my successes of the day. This part is relatively new for me, but I’ve found it’s a great acknowledgement of my accomplishments, and it’s important to recognize when we do good. It doesn’t have to be big; it might be mowing the lawn or eating well or brushing my teeth, but if you did it and it’s good for you or someone else, recognize it!

Then I also do a “future gratitudes” practice, which is what I’ll be grateful for when my goals and dreams materialize. What do you want to be grateful for in one month? One year? Write it down now, help it along!

These go into a bag and then I’m ready for a sweet blessed sleep!

Every so often, I take these papers and do my own ceremonial fire. I offer the forgiveness papers up to be released forever, and the others to be blessed and multiplied throughout the Universe.

This isn’t a hard or time-consuming practice, but it’s another small step toward opening myself up to the greater life of my dreams. Is this a practice you can see yourself doing?